Five Years Later
by jennied
Summary: Chandler leaves the gang only to return five years later. Where has he been gone for all of this time and why did he leave? New chapter!
1. A Letter Goodbye

Author's Note - Ok I've started a new story, I know I should really update the others but this one just came to me and I had to write it.

Anyway it's set the middle of Season Four and is AU from there on in!

Please read and hopefully enjoy and don't forget to review )

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Chandler took a deep breath as he took one last look at the apartment. His eyes filled up with tears as the memories of all of his years spent their flooded back to him. He blinked hard to eradicate any trace of tears. He didn't cry – Chandler Bing was not a crier. Still that didn't stop the tears from coming. He blinked hard again. This time to try and erase the memories. He scoffed at the thought. He'd never be able to erase them and he didn't want to – they were all he had left now but he was just making things harder by dwelling on them. The longer he stayed the more likely he'd talk himself out of this and he couldn't stay. He told himself that he had to do this. He had to go. He didn't have a choice. He picked up his bag that he'd filled with a few essential belongings, placed the envelope on the foosball table and then walked out the door, without looking back...

Joey unlocked the door and chucked his keys on the table.

'Chandler.' He shouted as he picked up the mail. No reply. Joey shrugged. 'Bill, bill, bill.' Joey said uninterested as he flipped through the mail. He chucked them onto the foosball table and then saw an envelope with his name on it. 'Huh.' Joey said as he picked it up. He opened it up and read the contents...

Joe,

Hey bud, I didn't want to do this through a letter I was going to tell you to your face but when I thought about what I'd say I realised I would never find the words... so I chickened out. I knew you'd try and talk me out of it and I guess you'd probably have succeeded so I have to do it this way. Please don't hate me for this.

I'm leaving New York, why you don't need to know, you just need to know I'm not coming back. I'm going to miss you guys so much but you'll move on, I know you will.

I've left you some money to pay rent and stuff for the next couple of months so you should be ok for a while. You can keep all the stuff in the apartment – I don't need them and I want you to have them. It's the least I can do after leaving you in the lurch like this. Knock yourself out bud.

Please know I'll keep looking out for your big break- I know you're going to be a huge star one day!

Tell Ross he has been one of the best friends I could have ever wished for and I'm going to miss his dinosaur stories.

Tell Pheebs I love her quirkiness and she should never change. I'm going to miss her songs!

Tell Rach I love her strength, she has grown so much and she's so amazing. I'll miss her fashion tips.

Tell Mon, I love her. I think she always knew and now I can finally say it without fear of rejection. She has so much to give, she's amazing and I'll miss her so much.

And finally Joe – you are my best friend. Thank you for all of the great times we've shared. I'm going to miss you! I'm not going to miss just one thing I'm going to miss everything about you!

Anyway I don't want to ramble anymore! I'm dwelling too much and I have to go. I've got to do this.

I love you all - you have been the best group of friends. I didn't deserve you.

Please don't try to find me, you don't need me and you'll just make this harder.

Move on.

Have a great life!

Chandler.

Joey clutched the letter in his hand, ran across the hall and flung the door open to Apartment 20 in a daze.

'Chandler's gone.' He said to the gang who were sat in the lounge watching TV.

'What?' Rachel said looking up from the TV.

'He's gone.' Joey replied.

'Gone where?' Phoebe asked nonchantly.

'I don't know.' Joey answered still completely shocked.

Ross eyed him warily. 'Are you ok Joe?' He asked.

'No I'm not, Chandler's flipped.' Joey flustered.

'You're not making any sense what's going on?' Monica asked getting up.

'I have no idea, read this.' Joey said holding out the letter.

The gang all gathered at the kitchen table to read the letter.

'What the hell's going on?' Ross shrieked upon finishing the letter.

'Why the hell would he just leave like this?' Rachel exclaimed. 'What's he thinking of taking off with no explanation and leaving us with a note.' She continued.

Monica sat down slowly at the kitchen table. She was totally shocked, she looked at Rachel.

'I have no idea.' She stammered.

'But he's going to come back though right?' Joey asked fearfully.

'Sure.' Rachel answered. 'He'll realise what he's doing and know he's made a huge mistake. He'll be back.' She stated.

'Yeh of course.' Everyone said.

'He'll be back.' Phoebe stated. 'Just give it a couple of days...'

The gang all sat at the kitchen table in silence trying to comprehend the news.

Phoebe was right just a couple of days and Chandler would be back, everything would be back to normal in a couple of days...


	2. Letting Go

Joey opened the door gingerly. It still felt strange to go into that room.

Everything was still exactly the same.

Exactly how it had been left the day he'd gone. It was as if he'd never left, as if time had somehow bypassed that room. It hadn't though; Joey knew that only too well. He'd tried many times to get rid of the stuff in that room but had never been able to do so... that stupid part of him that wouldn't let go, was still in denial, hoping that one day he'd come back.

Well it had been five years and he was still gone.

Everyone had given up hope of finding him. How do you find someone who doesn't want to be found?

It had taken a while but gradually they'd all begun to move on.

Ross and Rachel had gotten back together and become parents to a daughter called Emma. They were expecting baby number two any day now.

Phoebe had finally managed to snag David, her scientist guy. His grant for research in Minsk had run out and he'd moved back to New York. It had taken him a week to move in with Phoebe and propose.

Monica had taken a little while longer to move on. It was as if she and Joey had been affected by _him_ leaving the most. Joey knew why, the revelation in that note, those three little words 'I love her.' They'd shocked everyone but not him. He knew Chandler had always liked Monica and he'd always had a sneaking suspicion Monica liked him too. Everyone assumed Monica was shocked, but only because she didn't feel 'that way' about Chandler. But Joey knew she had done and that's why it had hurt her so much. Joey wished he had said something back then, forced them to tell each other how they'd felt but it was too late now and back then he didn't want to rush them or let one or both of them get hurt. Maybe if he had said something Chandler would never have gone but he had and eventually Monica had moved on. Phoebe had introduced her to Don, this guy she'd met on a date before getting back with David. She swore Monica and Don were soul mates, and they did get on well. However Monica was taking things slowly but Joey suspected they'd probably do the whole marriage and children thing any day now. She couldn't be expected to wait around forever, for a guy that no-one even knew was still alive! That thought stole Joey's breath away. He could cope if he knew Chandler was alive, he couldn't bear to think that he might be dead, but the truth was he didn't know and if he was alive there were so many unanswered questions. And in a way that hurt more knowing he could be so cruel.

Why had he gone?

Where was he?

Why had he done this to them?

Chandler leaving had affected Joey badly. He was the one who'd been left behind to deal with it. Forced to grow up overnight. He'd tried to move on, the others had all tried to get him to clear up the stuff from _that_ room but they had never succeeded in doing so.

Joey sat on Chandler's bed and stared at the room. He was done with _him._ Done with hurting. It was time to move on. Everyone else had and in some ways so had Joey but this was the final step. Eradicating all traces of _him _from the apartment, it was time to let go.

Chandler wasn't coming back...


	3. I'm Sorry

**Author's Note** - Thank you so much for all of the reviews I appreciate every single one of them :)

And in return for all of your feedback I give you Chapter Three of Five Years Later...

And Exintaris I promise all will be revealed about how Joey has managed to afford to keep the apartment in later chapters, I've already got that one answered :)

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'Hey Joe...' Monica started as she entered Apartment 19. She cut herself off when she saw what Joey was doing.

'Hey Mon.' Joey said without looking up at her. He was busy putting Chandler's belongings into black bin bags.

'So you finally decided to get rid of...?' Monica offered entering the room.

'Decided to get rid of all this crap? Yeah!' Joey laughed answering for her.

'Do you need a hand?' Monica asked.

'You can help me decide what to bin or recycle, yeah that'd help.'

'Sure.' Monica answered awkwardly. 'You ok Joe?'

'I'm fine, you've been on at me for years to do this and now that I am you're getting on my case.'

'I know.' Monica stated. 'It's just... are you sure you're doing this for the right reasons? You're not just covering your feelings up...?'

'He's gone Mon. He's not coming back. I know that now. It's been five years. It's time to move on. He's had a hold over me for too long – he's not taking any more of my life.'

'As long as you're sure.'

'I'm sure.' Joey answered. Monica squeezed his hand and they both began working on tidying up the room until Joey decided he was hungry.

'Shall we take a break?' Joey asked.

'I believe we should.' Monica laughed.

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Monica and Joey walked into the kitchen to fix something to eat. Monica opened the fridge whilst Joey sat on one of the bar stools at the counter.

'Well what do you think I can make out of beer and baking soda?' Monica joked. 'In fact why do you even have baking soda?'

Joey laughed. 'I heard something about baking soda and beer...'

'Forget I asked.' Monica giggled, cutting him off, as she shook her head. 'How about we just order a pizza?'

'Sounds good to me.' Joey answered.

Monica went to pick up the phone to dial the pizza place when there was a knock on the Apartment door.

'Don, how many times do I have to tell you, just come in you don't have to knock.' Joey shouted.

The door opened and Monica dropped the phone when she saw who had entered...

'Chandler.' Monica whispered not daring to believe.

'Hey.' He offered weakly.

Monica smiled at him but then came the anger.

'What the hell are you doing here?' She exploded the smile suddenly wiped from her face. 'No, no where the hell have you been for five years!?' Monica babbled not giving him a chance to answer. 'No you know what I don't even want to know, just don't even speak to me. You selfish bastard!' Monica screamed slapping him in the face.

Chandler held his cheek in shock. That reaction he hadn't expected. Still he wasn't sure what he actually had expected. 'I'm sorry.' He offered weakly.

'Sorry! You're sorry! That doesn't even begin to cut it! You think you can just walk back in here after everything you've put us through! I mean how did you even know Joey still lived here?!' Monica said in disgust.

'I did some asking around.' Chandler answered simply.

Monica shook her head. 'Chandler we didn't even know if you were still alive. I mean what were you expecting us to say. Hey Chandler great to see you thanks for taking off for five years with no explanation.'

'I don't know what I was expecting Monica.' Chandler snapped.

Joey stayed quiet.

'Joey.' Chandler coaxed trying to get him to speak.

'I thought I knew you.' Joey said bitterly scoffing. 'But it turns out you were just a really good bull shitter!' He finished before storming out of the apartment.

'Monica?' Chandler said turning to her.

'Joey's right. We thought we knew you. We thought you were our friend but a real friend would never do what you did!' She said before storming out of the apartment leaving Chandler alone...

Chandler looked around at the apartment and sighed.

Five years ago he'd been an idiot! He never realised how much he would hurt them but now seeing how Joey had never even been able to get rid of his stuff he knew.

He wasn't particularly fond of himself right now. He was a bastard and he deserved all the crap that he knew would inevitably be thrown at him.

Chandler didn't know if they would ever forgive him but he had to at least explain why he'd left and at least try and make it up to them. How could he have just left like that and expected them to be ok with it. He was an idiot... What had he been expecting? Them to just welcome him back with open arms?

What was it Monica had called him... a selfish bastard?

She was right...


	4. Monica

**Author's Note** - Wow thank you for all of the reviews! I'm so glad you're all liking the story )

As a special thanks for all of the reviews (which i appreciate so, so, so much - i really, really do!) I've got two chapters to upload for you today!

See reviews inspire me to write lol!

Please enjoy the rest of the story and don't forget to review )

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Monica sat brooding in Central Perk. She was fuming, she'd literally never been so angry in all of her life. She was vibrating with hate. How could Chandler just turn up like that and expect them to be happy about it?

The hate gradually turned to tears. She'd pretended she didn't care but of course she was happy.

God she'd missed Chandler so much, all she'd wanted to do was hug him when she'd seen him standing there but that didn't stop her from being pissed with him. She wiped away the tears from her face and took a deep breath. She'd hated Chandler for leaving, never telling them why. Maybe now they'd get the answers that they'd been wanting for so long. She'd loved him and never had the chance to tell him. It hurt more to know he'd loved her too and they'd never had a chance to be together. To them it was as if he had died. It was going to take a long time for them to forgive him.

'Hey.' A familiar voice said soothingly. Monica looked up and was greeted by those blue eyes and that wicked smile. Tears rolled down her face and she turned away, he couldn't see her like that. 'Mon please, I never meant to hurt you.' Chandler said sitting down next to her.

'Hurt me.' Monica said her voice cracking. 'You didn't hurt me... you destroyed me. God Chandler you have no idea how much you...' She cut off unable to speak. Tears rolled down her face and Chandler tried to hug her. 'No Chandler.' She said resisting. 'I don't need you.' Chandler would not relent and she eventually collapsed into his arms. He stroked her hair soothingly.

'It's ok Mon, I hate myself for what I did – none of you deserved that. I'm sorry, I understand why you're so mad and why you hate me but I can't stand to see you like this. Please don't cry. You know I'm not good in these kind of situations.'

'Yeah well you deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable – jerk!' Monica joked. She wiped away her tears and sat up. She sighed. 'I don't hate you Chandler. God, when I saw you all I wanted to do was throw my arms around you and never let go, but I was pissed at you – I still am! For never giving us any warning and especially for never saying goodbye. We never understood how you could do that to us. What did you think that we wouldn't understand? Did we really mean that little to you?'

'No! I loved you. I still loved you.' Chandler added as an afterthought. 'You mean the world to me, you all do. I was just... stupid... I didn't think... I was a coward... I was a selfish bastard.' Chandler said grinning.

Monica laughed. 'Still the joker I see.'

'I never changed.' Chandler answered.

'Yeah well we have – you forced us all to grow up. You have no idea how different things are now.'

'No I don't, but I want to. I want to make things up to you. You've just got to let me. Can we be friends again?'

'I don't know Chandler, I can't let you hurt me like that again – I can't go through that again.'

'I promise I won't ever hurt you again. I want you to trust me; I want us to be friends. Please. A promise from the Chan Chan man means a promise.' Chandler joked.

Monica sighed. 'I guess I can accept that. It's going to take a while for me to trust you again, but of course we can try and be friends.' She smiled and hugged him.

'Thanks.' Chandler whispered.

'But if you ever...' Monica warned.

'I won't!' Chandler stated emphatically. 'Now all I need is for you to get Joey to speak to me...'

One friend down four more to go...


	5. Joey

'Hey.' Chandler said tentatively as Joey opened the door to Apartment 19. 'Thanks for agreeing to see me.'

'Yeah well Monica asked me too, that's the only reason I'm letting you in.' Joey said.

'Well whatever I'm just glad you're willing to speak to me.' Chandler continued entering the Apartment.

'So what did you want Chandler?' Joey asked curtly cutting him off.

'To apologise.'

'Well I don't accept it.'

'Joey please.' Chandler stated hurt.

'No Chandler, how can you do this? First you leave for five years without letting anyone know where you were or if you were ever coming back or even if you were ok and then you just come back expecting me to just forgive you, expecting everything to be the same. Well it can't... it won't ever be.'

'Joey please you're my best friend.'

'No I was your best friend – you ruined all that when you left. You have no idea how much I went through because of you. I actually joined my dad's pipefitting business, the one thing I never wanted to do because of you!'

'Why, what happened to acting?' Chandler asked.

'I needed a steady job; I had bills to pay... rent.'

'That wasn't my fault.' Chandler reasoned.

'No maybe not but me being a complete wreck was. Nobody wanted to employ me – I was a mess. You ruined me.'

'Joe that's not fair.'

'You want to talk about fair? Ok, you calling having to break the news to everyone that'd you gone fair? You call having to tell your parents I had no idea where their son was fair? You call having to talk with the police... having to deal with the fact that my best friend was gone and I didn't even know if he was alive fair?! You couldn't even trust me enough to talk to me...' Joey said bitterly.

'It wasn't like that Joe, I'm sorry.'

'Yeah well it's not enough Chandler.'

'What happened to you Joe?' Chandler asked.

'Life happened. I changed. I grew up I'm not the same person who I used to be.'

'Well then I hate myself even more then.' Chandler stated.

'What?' Joey asked confused.

'For making you change. You were a great guy Joey – you should never have changed.'

'Well that's what happens when you get screwed over.' Joey spat bitterly.

'This isn't you. I know you. You're just angry.' Chandler shouted annoyed.

'Angry! No I'm not I was but I'm nothing anymore.'

'Liar.' Chandler shouted. 'You can pull this act all you want but I know you! You're only doing this because you're hurt. I'm the reason for that but Joey please I want to be your friend.'

Joey turned away to stifle tears. Why couldn't he just be angry with him?

'Joey please I've already wasted five years please don't let me waste anymore.' Chandler pleaded.

'Why can't I just hate you?' Joey sighed.

'Because we've been through too much, we're best friends.' Chandler said putting his arm around Joey's shoulders. 'I'm sorry man, for everything, I never meant to do that to you.' Chandler sighed. He was going to be saying a lot of sorrys.

'Oh god.' Joey gasped. 'I missed you so much you have no idea. I never stopped believing that you'd come back.'

'I know.' Chandler soothed. Chandler had never had to deal with being the cause of so much pain before. It unnerved him. He didn't want to ever be the cause again.

'Why did you leave? Why did you never say goodbye?' Joey asked.

'It would have been too painful. I mean how could I say goodbye to you guys? I knew I'd end up staying if I had to do that and that's why I just left.' Chandler scoffed. 'But I was an idiot I took the easy option. I should have just been straight with you from the start.' Chandler babbled trying to explain.

'And what is the truth?' Joey asked.

Chandler sat on one of the bar stools and sighed. Where to even begin?

'Look I'm not going to get mad.' Joey started sitting down next to him. 'I'm done with that now. It doesn't matter, I don't care. I just want to know what happened.'

Chandler looked at him. 'Listen I am going to tell you what happened but I want to tell you all together. I can't go through it five times. I promise I'm not trying to bull shit you.'

'I know.' Joey said cutting him off. 'I understand.'

'Thank you.' Chandler said.

'For what?' Joey asked.

'For being you I missed that.'

'It's great that you're back.' Joey smiled.

'It's good to be back.' Chandler beamed.

Joey and Chandler just smiled at each other before getting up and sharing one of their old classic Joey and Chandler hugs...


	6. Phoebe and Rachel

**Author's Note** - Thank you so much for all of the reviews I do appreciate every single one of them, they really do motivate me to write! Here's another chapter of the story. There's probably going to be a couple more 'filler/meeting back up with the friends' chapters before Chandler's 'big secret' comes out so stick with me lol!

I'm finding the reunion bits with the friends characters quite hard to write so I'm sorry if my updating is taking a while and if the chapters aren't that good I'm trying my hardest!

Anyway on with the story, hope you enjoy and on with the show...

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Chandler and Joey stood at the foosball table playing a match when the door to Apartment 19 opened.

'Hey guys.' Phoebe said.

'Hey.' Joey replied raising his eyebrows at her non-reaction to Chandler who was just stood there looking totally bewildered.

Phoebe looked at Chandler. 'I knew you were back. I have a sixth sense you know... plus I could hear you through the door.' She giggled. 'So how've you been?' She asked casually.

Chandler laughed Phoebe was still as quirky as ever. 'Not bad.' He shrugged. 'You?' He asked.

'Oh I'm fine.' Phoebe replied waving the comment away.

Chandler was totally shocked at how well Phoebe was taking his arrival. 'You're not mad at me?' He asked.

'Eh.' Phoebe answered grabbing a juice from the fridge. She opened the top and took a sip. 'I was.' She started. 'I wanted to kick your ass for a long time for hurting everyone but I don't hold grudges and you know seeing how happy Joey is now I think I can forgive you. I want answers though.' She said simply.

'And I'll give them to you.' Chandler answered. He walked up to her and gave her a hug. 'You haven't changed one bit.' He whispered.

Phoebe smiled. 'I'm glad you're back. I know I used to tease you and pretend we weren't close but you're one of my best friends. It hasn't been the same without you.'

'Aaw Pheebs.' Chandler teased. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered.

'It doesn't matter now you're back that's what counts.'

Joey smiled. 'Yeah he's back.' He beamed. 'And it's Friday night which means its Joey's special pizza night!'

'Oooh pizza.' Rachel said as she closed the Apartment door, no-one had even heard her enter.

'Chandler.' Rachel gasped in shock as she saw him.

'Rachel.' Chandler said sheepishly. His eyes widened as he saw how pregnant she was.

'I don't believe it – it's really you.' Rachel said touching his cheek, then she burst into tears.

'Hormones.' Phoebe said rolling her eyes.

Chandler reached out and hugged Rachel. 'I'm sorry Rach but please don't cry. I'm sorry.' He repeated.

Rachel clung onto him. 'Thank god you're ok – you stupid idiot.' She said before hitting him.

'Ow.' Chandler said joking.

'Don't joke Chandler Bing.' Rachel said pointing at him. 'You should not do this to a pregnant lady.' She said crying again and hugging him.

'It's nice to know you missed me.' Chandler laughed.

'It's not funny Chandler.' Rachel scolded. 'And you guys.' She said turning to Joey and Phoebe. 'You knew he was back and didn't tell me.'

'Hey I just found out.' Phoebe answered.

'Joey.' Rachel warned, he backed away fully aware of how scary a pregnant Rachel could be.

'Hey it wasn't their fault.' Chandler said. 'Blame me.'

'Oh I do blame you. Chandler how could you...?'

'Rach before you go off on one I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye and I'm sorry for coming back with no warning... that's everything isn't it?' Chandler asked turning to Joey who nodded.

Rachel glared at him and Joey and Phoebe retreated into Joey's room leaving the pair alone.

'I'm sorry for being an idiot. I never meant to hurt any of you and I'm especially sorry I never knew you were pregnant.' Chandler continued.

Rachel smiled and rubbed her belly.

'Can I?' Chandler asked holding out his hand.

'Sure.' Rachel replied.

Chandler placed his hand on her stomach and felt a kick.

'Whoa.' He laughed, Rachel did too and the ice was broken, well as much as it could be.

'I missed you, you know.' Rachel said.

'I know, I missed you too.' Chandler replied hugging her. 'And I promise I'll explain everything...'

The door to Apartment 19 opened cutting Chandler off. It was Ross who had entered along with Emma.

'Hey Rach, we're going to have to...' Ross started before seeing Chandler.

'Ross.' Chandler said softly.

Ross looked at him with disgust before leaving Emma with Rachel and storming out of the Apartment. Chandler looked at Rachel as if in two minds as to stay and find out who the girl was, whether Ross and Rachel had gotten back together or to go after Ross and try and sort things out with him.

'Go after him.' Rachel said gently. 'I'll explain later.' She said as if reading his mind.

'Thanks.' Chandler said as he left the Apartment, shut the door and headed after Ross...


	7. Ross

**Author's Note** - Again thanks for the reviews they really do make me soo happy hehe!

Here's the next chapter I'm on a roll this week lol! Enjoy and please R&R!

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Chandler followed Ross to a building across the street. He followed him up the stairs and then watched as Ross entered an Apartment and slammed the door angrily behind him. Chandler walked up to the door and knocked gently on it.

'Ross please open up I need to speak to you.' There was no reply. 'Ross come on.' Chandler shouted banging on the door.

'Just go away Chandler I don't want to speak to you or see you.' Ross yelled.

'Well I'm not going anywhere, I am just going to stay here until you open the door so you can save us a lot of time and just open the door now or I can stay here for hours annoying your neighbours.'

Ross opened the door but prevented Chandler from entering. 'Why do you do that? Why do you always make jokes when it's totally inappropriate?' He asked annoyed.

'Well it got you to open the door didn't it?' Chandler joked.

Ross glared at him 'It's not funny Chandler. You know there you go again making jokes. God you haven't grown up one bit have you?'

'Nope sorry.'

'Don't, don't make this out to be a big joke – I am so pissed at you right now its untrue. I can't even look at you, look I just want you to leave. Go!' Ross shouted.

'Ok I'm sorry.' Chandler started. 'Please just let me in so we can talk.'

Ross was proving to be extremely hard to get round. Chandler had not foreseen that. He figured Ross would have been ok; well at least somewhat happy to see him.

'I don't want to talk I don't want anything to do with you just go.' Ross shouted.

'Ross I am not leaving until we sort this out.' Chandler said a little more forcefully than he'd intended.

'Fine.' Ross answered stepping to the side to let Chandler in.

'Thank you.'

Ross shut the door and stared at Chandler the guy who'd once been his best friend but was now a virtual stranger. He couldn't believe he was back. For five years nothing and now here he was large as life and joking away as if he'd never been gone.

'So I guess you're wondering why I'm back? Why I left?' Chandler started.

'No not really.' Ross spat bitterly. 'You may think you're the centre of the universe and everything revolves around you but some of us moved on. Some of us stopped caring. Why would I give a damn about you when we obviously meant nothing to you?'

Chandler flinched hurt. 'Ok maybe I deserved that. I was a bastard but I made a mistake. It doesn't mean that I stopped caring. I never stopped thinking about you all.'

'That's crap Chandler; you could have let us know you were alright. If it was so important that you had to leave fine we could have dealt with that but there are no excuses for what you did. There are no excuses for letting us have to deal with all of the crap that you left behind. There are no excuses for not saying goodbye. Nothing could have been so important for you to do what you did. You were immature, selfish and a complete and utter coward and I will never forgive you!'

'Ross please come on we're best friends.' Chandler pleaded.

'No we were. I thought I could trust you unquestionably Chandler but you totally betrayed me. You know there was nothing you couldn't have told me. We've known each other since we were eighteen, that first year of college and yet you couldn't tell me what was going on inside of your head. You couldn't give me a goodbye.'

'Ross I was an idiot but come on the others have all been willing to give me a chance to explain.'

Ross scoffed. 'Yeah well they may have done but I won't. You won't worm your way around me.' Ross shook his head then as what Chandler had said hit him. 'So you let everyone else know you were back before me.' He whispered. 'I was last on your list. God I really didn't mean anything to you did I?' He shouted. 'I wanted to share my baby news with you, I wanted to ask you to be godfather and every time I'd remember you were gone and I couldn't do any of that stuff. And all I got when you left was two crappy lines in a letter. Is that all I deserved?'

Chandler snapped. 'Is that what this is all about? You think I don't care? You think you don't mean as much to me as everybody else? Ross I wrote that letter in five minutes if I'd really stopped to think about our memories I'd never have gone. I could never have expressed how much you mean to me. We have been through so much together and I hate that I've messed everything up. I hate that you couldn't tell me about your baby... that I couldn't be godfather. I hate that I fucked up! Ok and I am truly sorry I can't take back any of that stuff. I wish I could but I can't. All I can do is apologise and try and put things right now. I want to explain why I did what I did and try and make things up to you guys. Will you let me?'

Ross shook his head. 'No and I think you should leave.'

Chandler knew better than to argue but as Ross held open the door he said. 'Please just think about it. Don't let this tear us apart.'

And with that Chandler was gone and Ross broke down...


End file.
